A week ago, I encountered Deepak Chopra. I was feeling especially alive on that day, with an especially spirited spring in my step on my way to meditate at his center in New York. I've been going to the center for five years now and have never met him. On this day, I felt as if I trusted the universe with all the faith in my cynically-stripped bones. I had been experiencing (and continue to experience) synchronicities affirming that I am exactly where I am supposed to be in support of my ultimate destination. On my way to the Chopra Center, I articulated to a friend how grateful I was for how accessible the center was to me and POOF! DEEPAK CHOPRA! There he was, in the stairwell with his tea and a smile! I caught his eye as he looked back over his peace-carrying shoulder and said hello nonchalantly, and then I asked him if I could make a more official hello, supplicating that I might experience his energy for longer than a fleeting salutation, even though it's mid-town in New York. He obliged graciously and asked me my name, what brings me to the center, and how often I visit. I gave him a very brief character sketch of myself as a creative person looking to create more passion and peace in my life. He embraced me warmly with an emphatic hug, and although he seemed open to a bigger conversation, I felt too humble to make that assumption and scurried off to my meditative corner in the sanctuary across from his office. Upon getting situated on my cushion, I began to frantically do the very opposite of meditate. I began texting everyone I knew who would care and understand, that I had just been in engaged in an embrace with Deepak Chopra.
After texting about four friends, noting the audibly subtle, syncopated and potentially sacriligious pulses I was making on my blackberry in the space relegated for silence, I decided to get quiet. I started thinking the following thoughts: "That wasn't enough. I need more of Deepak. If I share with him, Deeeeepak, my quest for clarity, will it more suddenly be realized in my life? Won't my mere communications with him make all the difference?" And then, gratefully the following came to me: "He is a man, just a man. You are here, because you already know and appreciate what he might suggest. He can't help you put it into practice, YOUR practice. He is not YOUR heart or YOUR mind. He can only stand as a representation of what is possible with the meditative practice." I was able to get to this place in my mind, but my body would not follow. I had ants in my peace-seeking-pants. It wasn't but a few minutes that I decided to collect my things and leave the center. I felt lucky and exuberant and wanted to move around to honor this.
Only a week later and I've been through what seems a dozen full-circles of contradicting thoughts around my life plans. The most imminent knowing I've arrived at since that walk on my way to the center when I was gratitude personified is that I am a singer. When I sing, and incidentally in alignment with what I choose to sing, I experience my most heartfelt meditative expressions.
In my performances I ask people to be still with me for a moment while we explore a lyric and a melody and its interpretations. And while I'm the focus and the vessel superficially, I do authentically and insistently intend for people to experience their own journeys while listening. THIS, feels purposeful and powerful to me, no matter how many or how few people I connect with in my musical career, this feeling is quite real to me. The day-gigs or side-gigs or giggawatts are the support I gratefully endure to get to the place where I am with my voice and my friends.
Written January 15, 2010
Such a beautiful post, Michelle!! Thank you!! xoxox
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